What I Want
by AvatarMaster
Summary: A sleepy Aang reminisce about Katara, and his feelings for her. Full of Fluff inside. AXK paring. R&R Please! Extra Chapter Added, but a diff. story. Check it out!
1. What I Want

An almost painful tiredness clung to Aang as he stumbled through Appa's back. His limbs ached as he fell down on the soft fur. His eyes slid closed immediately. He'd just endured a particularly tiring day, with Toph teaching him earthbending, then have to get food for the group. Now, here he was. Exhausted.

Sleep hovered over him as he let his mind relax, letting trails of thought travel and develop until… he suddenly found himself pondering the sensitive subject of Katara.

The sleep dulled down his senses, it was a strange feeling when he was almost too sleepy to sleep, to tired to move. So he just lay there, eyes closed, sprawled out, thinking.

-

I am happy when she is. When she smiles, I smile. When I see tears trickle down her cheeks, I start to worry. I want what's best for her. But at the same time, I want to be near her. I want her to be close to me, I want to be the one who takes care of her, who asks what's wrong, who can pull her into an embrace, I want to be there for her, and I want her to be there for me. I don't think she knows how much I need her here, next to me. I want her to be this close to me forever – but that's not what's best for her. Is it?

I want her to be here forever. I want, I want, I want.

I want. I _need_.

I need her so badly. I need her to be here.

How can I feel so many things at once?  
How can I feel these emotions that I've never felt before?

How can I even begin to put these thoughts in order?

How am I supposed to live with these things raging inside my heart?

How am I supposed to live without her?

I love her so much.

When she's not here with me, I worry, I can't function, I snap, I break… When she is here with me, I don't know what to do. But it feels better having her here.

When she's with some one else, I can't live, I can't breathe… I need to be the one with his arm around her delicate shoulders, I can't let others do that to her… I can't see her with other men, simply because I want to be that man next to her.

Selfish, greedy, selfish, greedy, want, want, want.

I know I'm acting like a little, jealous child – but that's what I am – that's what this love has made me – it's made me free, it's made me see what I need, it's opened my heart… but it's also made me crave the things I want, I can't be satisfied with what I used to be, I can't just be happy with a few days a week … I need to be with her all the time… I cherish the time I spend with her, but it flies away from me. I can't seem to catch it, it just keeps trickling away…

I need her here always.

I know it's selfish, I know.

Love has turned me into this little child who knows only two words: 'I want'.

How am I supposed to carry on living when I keep thinking about her, keep wanting to throw my arms around her, keep wanting to pull her closer to me, keep wanting to hurt any body who hurts her, keep wanting to make her smile… It's crazy.

And why can't she see? These emotions are always there… and yet… she still hasn't any idea how selfish, how horrible, how in love I am.

Every one else can see them, every one else knows… Every one can see my love but her.

She's wonderful. She's the most innocent, ignorant, oblivious, trusting, childish person I've every met, and I love her. She some how sees the good in every one, which lands her in so much trouble… Always getting into arguments, fights and friendships. It's impossible not to love her.

Her moods and emotions are always so close to the surface, she's so easy to read. She has a different smile for every mood, she has so many expressions, so many sides of her, and she's not afraid to show them. She can be so open, so relaxed – then she can be so distant… When I see her tears, I feel like I could be the one with the sorrow filled tears streaming down my face, when she smiles, it's impossible not to feel somewhat happier.

I can see why so many people love her. I can't see how any one could _not_ adore her… and there's that problem again – I wish other people didn't love her… - there I go again, selfish, selfish, and selfish. But I simply can't help it. I couldn't imagine not having these feelings…

I'm a completely different person because of her.

I wouldn't be so open; I wouldn't know how to handle any thing. I'm a better person because of her.

If I picture myself before I met her, before I developed these feelings for her… My worries and problems seem so petty now, compared to all my worries now.

I love her.

I love her so much.

But she has no idea.

What if I were to break this taboo? I can't help but wonder… What if I said all these things that, at the moment, are imprisoned in my head? What if I were to just… say all these things… 'I love you'… Three simple words that sum up all of my feelings… three simple words that I can't seem to bring myself to say. 'I love you'; they sound so easy in my head…

But if I were to say those words, I know our 'relationship' would never be the same again. It would either blossom into the dream I've been playing in my head for so long… or it would break, it would snap, it would become awkward and cold… become the nightmare.

Which way would life go?

Which route would fate decide to turn?

Will I ever even say those words to her? Would I ever manage to sum up the courage? Or will I just let life carry on like it is?

It's not bad at the moment – the way I'm thinking portrays the way of life at the moment as being some sort of terrible, blackened tapestry in which I can't spend a single second with her…

No, that's not it at all – In fact, it's lovely, it's heaven. We're close, we're there for each other, and we're best friends…

But that's another problem – I spend so much time with her, that, if I were ever separated from her… I don't know what I'd do. I'm spoilt. But I can't stop myself wanting more.

We're together so much… and all the time, it's so tempting to just wrap my arms around her and kiss her… but I can't.

I can't. And I can't tell her my feelings, my secrets. If I do, then she might have to go away… I can't take that risk. Ever… But I want to so much, I want to be able to kiss her without having to think about it.

But I can't…

It would mean putting an end to whatever life we lead at the moment.

Or it could mean creating a beautiful, new relationship that I yearn for…

But…

But she seems to think that if any one finds out her secret, it would mean she would have to go away…

Our relationship at the moment is so open, she tells me her worries, and she asks me to confide my worries in her.

But underneath the happy, joyful life… We both have so many secrets that we hide from each other…

But I know she's doing it because she wants to be here.

And there's always the risk that it'll develop into unrequited love. She might not feel any thing for me…

But she's done so many things for me, she's crossed oceans, she's fought my battles, she's defended me, she gently pushed me into taking back the things I used to love, she's made my life a life worth living…

But it could turn out that she thinks of me as a best friend… But… But…

I said she's easy to read…

But she's not.

She's so deep – I can see her emotions on the surface, but underneath all that, underneath the mask, there could be love, friendship… there could be many more secrets lurking beneath the mask.

It hurts to think these things.

I love her so much, I don't see how she can't see it, I don't know how long I can hide it from her.

Compassionate, innocent, lovely… utterly wonderful, completely beautiful in every single sense of the word. She sees light in every thing, optimistic, fantastic, astounding, staggering, breath taking, remarkable, awe-inspiring, magnificent, angelic, dazzling, delicate, confident, delightful, divine, enchanting, upbeat, captivating, stubborn, childish, funny… wonderful.

The way the light catches her, framing her in an angelic halo of beauty… her smooth, perfect skin, those sparkling eyes, her slender figure, her upbeat grin.

I love her so, so much.

I need her by me.

I want her to stay.

I love her.

I felt my mind relax, let go…

"Aang?"

That voice… I felt my lips awaken in a smile. That voice. Her voice. Always echoing inside my head, never leaving me. I never want it to go.

It's her voice. Hers. I need it here, in my head; I can never let it go.

"Hey, Aang?"

I heard her soft giggle, the one that she used when she thought she was alone, or the one when she truly happy… It felt good to hear her so happy… My smile widened.

I could picture her in my head, she was smiling, her soft hair rimmed in an angelic ring of sunlight blaring in as the summer sun set behind the hills. Beautiful… Her head was tilted slightly to the left as her giggle sounded again.

The picture of happiness. Even if it was inside my head, it was still beautiful. She was beautiful.

She was smiling, her eyes wide, sitting on the side of my bed while the sunlight streamed through the window.

…She looked so real… I could almost touch her…

-

Katara giggled as she plunked herself down on Aang's side. Poor thing – he looked really tired… Well; who wouldn't be sleepy after a hard day of training. It was still slightly amusing though; to see Aang sprawled out on Appa's back, and fast asleep.

She jumped in surprise slightly as she noticed Aang's eyes were half open; though it was plain he was still asleep.  
Katara grinned, leaning closer to the boy, a light blushes fluttering over her face, "Aang! Time to get up! I brought you up some food!" She grinned, "You must be hungry," She smiled, leaning a little closer, "Hey! Aang! Wake up!"

-

I could feel her warm breath on my face…

This daydream was the one closest to reality I'd ever had.

I reached out, my hand brushing against her cheek. Her smooth, delicate skin was perfect. I smiled.

"Katara…" I heard myself whisper.

-

Katara's face flushed bright red, and she jerked up, away from Aang – but he didn't seem to notice. In fact, his smile widened and he whispered her name.

Her heart was pounding, head reeling, and palms clammy. "A-A-A-Aang!" She stuttered, "A-Aang, w-w-wake up!!"

"Katara… I…"

Katara couldn't help but smile, this was the first time she'd seen Aang like this.

"Katara…" Aang moaned again, rolling over in his sleep, "Katara... n…never leave… okay?"

"O-Okay..." She felt her lips curl into a bright smile as she watched Aang sleep.

Author's note: Yes! another fic done! anyway, please R&R. And, on my other story, 'Love, Your Penpal', I believe i cannot update soon because we are moving to a different state, like next few weeks. The movers of our house is going to take my computer away for a few months. And all my works is in there. Don't worry though, I'll update the new chapter there. Sorry guys.


	2. Midnight Mumbles

**Author's note: This is just an extra chapter! R&R please!**

_  
'This...'_ she rolled over onto her right. _'Isn't...'_ she rolled onto her stomach. _'Gonna...'_ she rolled over onto her left. _'Work!'_ Then, back onto where she started from, her back. Katara just could not fall asleep that night, even if her life depended on it. Usually she'd fall asleep without a problem, but tonight, it just wasn't going to happen. She didn't know why, but it was almost like some kind of force was keeping her awake.

_'Well this is fun...'_ she sarcastically thought as she once again tried to get comfy and rolled over again.

She knew for a fact that nothing should be keeping her up like this. She had nothing to worry. Had no problems with Sokka lately, or anyone else. As always, she was thinking of her best friend, Aang, but that was normal, and always gave her a calm feeling. Never a restless one.

Everything was labeled perfect right now. But why the restless night? _'Maybe I'm forgetting something...?'_ She sat up and ruffled her already messy brown hair in frustration.

"C'mon, Katara, go to sleep!" She whispered to herself, careful as to not wake her sleeping companions. "You love to sleep, so you know you want to!" She then sat there for a minute. There was no sleepy feeling creeping upon her. So she got up and strolls for the night.

**Splash!**

Katara was bending at the river, splashing water on her face, hoping it would help calm whatever she had keeping her up inside of her.

"That feels nice." She said, taking in another handful of water, and splashing herself with it.

But after doing that about a hundred times, she decided to stop. "Time to try to sleep again."

She walked quietly to her sleeping bag and got in, wrapping the blankets around her.

But she was still awake, even after laying there for almost an hour.

She grabbed her head in frustration. _'Ugh! Why can't I-!'_

"...no..."

"Wha? Aang?" Katara asked herself, recognizing the voice beside her.

"Katara..." Aang called again. Katara jumped up to see if anything was wrong with him. But when she got up and looked at him, she got a slight surprise.

'_Aang… He's still sleeping...'_ She thought as she watched his delicate features in the pale moonlight. She smiled at this. And at how cute he looked.

"Katara..." He called again. "I..."

"'I' what?" Katara mouthed, not taking her gaze away from Aang. She wanted to know what he's trying to say.

"Katara..." Aang mumbled again, this time turning around and facing her, although not knowing it. "Nnnh..." He didn't succeed in saying it. So, with slight disappointment, Katara had reluctantly crawled back to her bag, only after staring at Aang for a minute.

_'Well, time to try and sleep again...'_ Katara thought, trying to get relaxed for the millionth time that night. After finding a cozy spot, she closed her eyes to try to sleep.

"Katara...I love you..."

Her eyes shot wide open. _'Did Aang...Just say that!'_

"I love you, Katara..." He said again.

Katara just smiled, and closed her eyes. A calm and peaceful feeling drifted over her and she feels right to sleep.

_'Maybe that's just what I needed...'_

Katara had woken up early the next morning. Aang was tidying up their sleeping bags.

_'So tired...'_ Aang thought, as he fixed the bag onto Appa's back.

"You talk in your sleep, you know that?" Katara said suddenly.

"What! I do not!" Aang turned around, defending himself like a child in a shout-war.

"Do too." Katara smirked.

"Do not!" He retorted.

"Do too." she replied.

"Do not infinity!" He said, crossing his arms as if in a victory stance. He was so childish in the mornings.

"Okay, you win." Katara smiled. She grabbed a basket, and started for to look for a food, but stopped at Aang.

_'Huh?'_ Aang thought as Katara took his hand.

"You know, I love you too, Aang." Katara whispered, letting her hand slide off his hand while going to the other direction, leaving a shocked Aang.

She smirked as she took one last look, and made her way to look for breakfast.

_'He'll get what I said soon enough...'_

**-**The End**-**


	3. What Do You See In Clouds, Aang?

The boy laid on his back under the shades of the old tree. It was a warm day and, tired of his daily 'hell' training, the scrawny teen by the name of Aang decided to take a quick rest. He was giving into sleep, though he knew too well what slacking off meant.

He was already beginning to feel the effects of drowsiness, his eyes dropping slowly, when he heard a small thud and felt someone sit beside him.

He stretched lazily, yet again, as he peered, one-eyed, at the newcomer. He saw the form of what seemed a girl, her gaze lost at some point in the horizon. In his blurry vision, he saw her hair swaying with the breeze. He smiled inwardly when he realized who she was, then rubbed his eyes, trying to make the beautiful illusion disappear and wake up. But it didn't, she was still there and he knew he was wide awake now.

"What are you doing here?" her question was said barely above a whisper.

"Uh... Katara?" he asked uncertain.

"Who else?" she answered softly, "Nice spot you got here Aang. I've been searching for you all over and I just found you here, lying on the grass."

"Don't worry, I'll get up as soon as I'm done. I promise."

"Why would you?" she asked, "I didn't say anything about getting up."

"You don't need anything?"

"I'm just checking. That's all. I got to go back to Sokka. Just don't fall asleep in here. Firebenders might recognize you." She stood up from her place and started walking away, with the avatar being left behind. Then, his voice stopped her.

"Why did you come?"

"It's been a long day and I want to spend some time with my best friend." She said while looking down , "But it looks like he doesn't need my company, since he is busy lying on the ground," she emphasized, while looking back at him "So, I guess I'll be going now."

He walked up to her and took her hand. He smoothly turned her around to look at him. Her eyes softened at the sight of his own, who were searching for forgiveness.

"I would like my best friend to stay with me for a while," he smiled warmly, "Please?"

He dragged her back to the tree, and she didn't make any move in protest.

She sat quietly next to him, to his left, leaning her back against the tree's trunk. She sighed heavily; letting go of a breath she hadn't notice that she was holding. On the other side, the boy had laid fully on the grassy floor resting his head on his right arm.

It was when she had finally settled comfortably that she felt his fingers grasping hers gingerly. She stiffened at the motion, gasping, then frowning, and finally sighing. He laughed heartedly, and finally holding her hand, he squeezed it gently. She squeezed back...

Soon enough, she found herself also laying next to him, in a safe distance, she made sure. He was playing with her fingers, which surprisingly she had allowed; as both of them quietly watched the clouds slowly pass by. Neither of them talked, afraid of breaking the comfortable silence between them.

"What do you see in them?"

"Huh?" He sat up to look at her confused and, after feeling nervous under his gaze, she sat up too, her eyes immediately going to the sky.

"What do you see in the clouds, Aang?"

He smiled at her, then too looked up at the puffy, white forms.

"Well... I see... Bunnies... white bunnies jumping all around..." he started, gaining him an incredulous look from her, "And, uh... hearts made of cotton, soft cotton. And also apples!" he paused to make a suspense effect, "Yes, yummy apples... like the ones I ate. Of course, a castle too. And in this castle lives a beautiful princess..."

"A princess?" she interrupted and gave him a curious glance while cocking her head. He looked at her and laughed. Not bothering to elaborate, he turned to the sky, again followed by her, as his grip on her hand tightened. He was quick to explain when he felt her trying to free her hand.

"Yes, a pretty girl... with nice hair, and gorgeous body, almost fragile." He kept looking upwards while the waterbender stayed puzzled, "and she's got these really, really beautiful eyes. You know, like really deep pools? They're lovely," he finished in an almost teasing voice.

"And who is this girl?" she couldn't hide the ting of jealousy in her voice, to which he snickered. She was starting to get exasperated and the wide smile in his face didn't make it easier.

"But, you know..." he ignored her question and continued narrating his story while she forced her way out of his grip, "she's so mature."

"Aang," she started, only to interrupted by him again._ 'Aang, shut up and just tell me!'_

"Yet, there are these rare times when she thinks I'm not watching her, and she smiles. Sometimes she even looks back at me, but she never admits it. I like her very much..."

"Who is she?" she asked again, lowering her head. _'Tell me, Aang!' _He searched for her hand, but she moved her hand away. He frowned lightly, then, he was surprised when she turned to look at him and their gazes met. Still transfixed in her eyes, he spoke.

"I don't know when everything changed, but I do know that my stomach feels all fluttery when I see her... Maybe I could be her prince," he grinned as she rolled her eyes, giving up.

"I'm going now," she said standing up in the same fashion she had done before he had asked her to stay.

"It's you."

Her heart came to a halt when the words sank in. She swirled around to look at him confused.

"What?" her eyes were wide and alert. _'What now?!'_

"The princess," he replied calmly, "_it has always been you,_ Katara."

He walked up to her and embraced her, hiding his head in the crook of her neck.

"Can I be your prince?" he said, hot breath tickling her.

She felt her eyes welling up in tears, but, biting her bottom lip, she resisted the urge in her to cry. She hadn't done so in a very long time. She wasn't going to do it no. And certainly, not about something about this... something stupid. Stupid, like the absurd reason she had thought of just to come to this place in first place, the excuse she made up to stay with him, the stupid questions she asked, and the stupid answers she received... Stupid, like the way she was feeling now.

Waiting for her response only for a brief moment, he gave up and sighed heavily. Smiling, he put his arms down moving a step back to look at her, but she avoided eye-contact.

"I'm sorry if I asked, but I just couldn't go on wondering what would be your answer," he sighed again, his smile weakening, but his voice sounded more firm as he continued "Just... one more thing, before anything else happens... I need to tell you something," he paused, "I love you."

"Aang... I... I don't know what to..."

"Don't worry... you don't need to say anything. I'll be ok, and..." he shook his head, "God! It's just that I've been trying to tell you for a very long time, and even if I didn't get the answer I wanted... Trying and saying it felt pretty damn good."

'_But you don't even let me answer!' _she thought angrily. "I..."

He faked another smile but she was able to see through it. He added then, "Please, let's forget about this. I-I guess you're right, it's late and I still have to get some supplies..."

"The prince..." she said, finally getting the chance to speak, looking again at him, her eyes shining with light he hadn't seen before, "It's you... _It has always been you_, Aang."

He looked at her, shock visible in his eyes, then a small grin crept upon his lips, getting bigger and bigger, a smile reaching his eyes.

The clouds started moving then, in shapes of hearts and of bunnies, of apples and a castle where a princess lives with her prince.

**Author's note: Reviews would be nice XD thanks! **


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